Welcome to Phoenix

I recently passed through the Phoenix Airport en route to another destination in the United States (Chicago, if you must know ), and the experience my traveling companion and I shared will I hope prove instructive with regard to why we can't let the goddam lefty-liberals take over even the House of Representatives in the upcoming mid-term elections, let alone the House and the Senate. Our experience managed to coalesce precisely what might well happen if we give up stewardship of our national security to the Democrats.

First, my travelling companion, Eva (a 64-year-old blond lady who is in fabulous shape and who could pass for late-40s in a heartbeat), was forbidden to take two ballpoint pens with her as we boarded our flight.

"Why do you think they confiscated your ballpoint pens, Eva?" I asked her after we'd passed through the checkpoint.

"I'll tell you," Eva said, "I think it was because there's that book out that says that if Islamist terrorists are attempting to highjack a flight you're on, you should use a ballpoint pen as a weapon and hold it like a knife and bring this ballpoint pen down on the highjackers and attempt to stab them in the eyes and disable them."

I said to her, "So you think that the airport security people are trying to make sure that you don't have even a ballpoint pen to protect yourself if Islamist terrorists attempt to highjack your flight?"

At that moment, our attention was brought back to the Middle Eastern male passenger who was passing through the same gate we had just cleared, albeit minus Eva's ballpoint pens.

"Welcome to Phoenix, Mr., uh, Rahgiv Ramadan? Is that right? We just have a few little details to check on as you pass through to board your plane.

"Let's see, Mr. Ramadan . . . are you named after the holiday? Wonderful holiday. Wonderful addition to the world family of holidays.

"Isn't Ramadan the one where Muslims of different sects kill each other just because they belong to different branches of your wonderful religion? Men, women, children, doesn't matter who they kill? Wonderful addition to the world family of holidays, Mr. Ramadan.

"And are you wearing those new clock shoes, Mr. Ramadan? You're the second guy through this airport today whose shoes were ticking. How do you like those clock shoes? Must be very efficient, not having to strap on a wrist watch every day.

"Thank you, Mr. Ramadan. Have a pleasant flight."