President Goodwrench Busts a Move

April 3, 2009

Can there be any question that the cornerstone of President Barack Obama's economic strategy is his intent is to nationalize General Motors and transform a distressed, legacy-cost-crippled company into an example of how to cram "green" cars down the throats of a public that wouldn't buy them if they had a choice? In between television appearances in which he's insulted Special Olympians on the Jay Leno Show and drawn the scorn of Duke Men's Basketball Coach Mike Krzyszewski for paying more attention to his NCAA tournament brackets than to the economy, President Goodwrench has been busy trying to one-up Hugo Chavez and show the world what a real martinet can do to cripple an economy. The good news is that he's going to put the full faith and credit of the United States behind the warranty on your Malibu.

Never mind that Mr. Obama has never so much as run a lemonade stand and wouldn't know a strategy to save the economy if it tried to make an illegal contribution to his campaign. If you needed proof of the President's fiscal intentions, look no further than the fact that he's put tax cheat Timothy Geithner in charge of the Treasury Department. As country singer John Rich said during a recent Fox News appearance, "Putting Geithner in charge of the Treasury Department is like putting Dracula in charge of a blood bank."

Obama is working on the "too-big-to-fail" principle, something that sounds as though it may have been originated by the late John Holmes when he was trying to resurrect his career in the years before his death in 1988. Now though, it's major corporations like GM and AIG that fall under this convenient umbrella. As the saying goes, "What's good for porn is good for America."

While all of that was going on, the Ku Klux Kongress was in full white-robed fury, with Imperial Wizards Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and Chuck Shumer implementing the legislative equivalent of inciting to riot while their henchmen from the Association of Kommunity Organizations for Reform Now (AKORN) carried out their wishes, figuratively burning crosses in the yards of AIG executives whose names Kleagle Andrew Kuomo, apparently trying to spur recruitment efforts, had demanded be made public.

The President tacitly joined the Gang That Couldn't Froth Straight in calling for the blood of the AIG executives by looking on silently as his brownshirt-equivalent AKORN members' activities were lovingly broadcast by America's complicit leftist television networks. Indeed, the key difference between the Kongress-inspired AIG lynch mob and the KKK is the fact that, while the Klan targeted its victims because of the color of their skin, Kongress targets them because of the color of their money.

That color might soon be red. China - China, for God's sake! - is demonstrating more capitalist savvy than the U.S. in this situation, with the result that, because Democrats since President Goodwrench assumed power are exploiting the current economic downturn to make an unprecedented power play, the United States is threatening to become precisely the Amerika that leftist radicals claimed, albeit incorrectly, that it was in the 1960s.